The Supermarket Experience
Firstly, I would like to clarify that I hate supermarket shopping with a vengeance. I wait until the freezer is bare, the fridge is bare, the pantry is bare and we are down to the last nappy before I absolutely totally HAVE to go shopping.
This generally coincides with a work day. This means that hubsy is working, the kids are at school and I have to go supermarket shopping with “the boys”.
Let me give you an idea about “the boys”. They are 19 months old. Sir Phoenix is the chubby one of the two (13.3 kgs at last count) and Prince William is the “petite” one weighing in at 11.4kgs. As you may imagine, at this special time in their lives everything is an adventure and everything must be touched and explored. Here is an example:
So, we start off at Aldi (cause Aldi rocks). Now, Aldi have never had twin trolleys so it was very tricky going shopping when the boys were babies. But not now, oh no. So first of all, I find a park close to the trolley bay. Then I leave them in the car while I get a trolley. Then I put them both inside the trolley and off we go!!!
Keeping in mind how much I abhor shopping, I shop with a view that I “never, ever want to set foot in this place again” so I buy like I am preparing for a nuclear holocaust. And this is fine, in theory.
Starting off, they boys think it’s much fun and extremely hilarious to throw out of the trolley everything I put in it. I have strangers running after me handing me various items. “Ha, ha! Double trouble!” they say. Every. Single.Time. How about coming up with something a bit more imaginative, you people?
So, there I am, with my iPhone, reading my list, making sure I don’t forget anything (cause I ain’t coming back!), pushing the trolley, retrieving items off the floor and one of the little cherubs decides now is a rather opportune time to throw a bit of a tantrum. The little cherub is promptly placed in the child seat part of the trolley and strapped in firmly.
Add screaming baby in trolley to the list above.
As we make our way around the shop, I am stockpiling items in the area underneath the trolley as well as inside it. All of a sudden, there is no room for a baby in there as well.
So now, imagine, if you will, an overflowing trolley with items dangerously balanced on top of each other, one child sitting in the seat bit screaming his head off, mother pushing the trolley with only one hand as she is holding another child with the remaining hand. There is no room for the iPhone and the list, now I am shopping from memory.
And then the screaming child in the trolley decides to throw a jar of English orange marmalade with full strength onto the ground.
So this time I was lucky as a staff member was nearby and I didn’t have to hunt around too much. But the poor love was about the age of 14 and had no idea how to clean up broken sticky glass. He went to get an empty box. So I fished out a packed of wet wipes and cleaned it up ready to put in his special box when he eventually found it.
After feeling like I have run a couple of marathons with my arms (from carrying the child in one and pushing an overweight trolley with the other whilst carefully balancing it) we arrive at the checkout. This means, that one handed I have to unload all the stuff onto the belt.
All the stuff does NOT fit onto the belt. At Aldi, you empty your trolley, then take it around and fill it back up once the items are scanned. Okay so the nice check out lady looks after my groceries and the child strapped in the seat while I take the other child with me to get an empty trolley so that we can get this show on the road.
Okay, so all items paid for, two full trolleys, each containing a child, how do I get all this in the car?
Well, I leave one trolley, grab the child out of it and push the other trolley with one hand to the car. Eventually, after sliding up and down the car park, I make it. Then I put the boys in the car seats, park the full trolley and run to get the other trolley.
I quickly get out a packet of biscuits or anything I can find that is edible and give it to them to shut them up. Cause it is going to take me some time (in the hot sun) to pack each item out of the trolley into a bag and then into the boot. Of course, I have to sort all items to make the unpacking easier once we get home and the “fridge” and “freezer” items must go into cooler bags.
So, three hours later….. you’d think I’d go home, right?
Well in true masochistic fashion and the “delayed gratification” principle we now make our way to Coles. Because although I adore Aldi, it does not stock all of my requirements.
Now Coles is INSIDE the shopping centre. This means trolleys are not easily accessible. This means I now need to fish out the double stroller from the boot and of course the groceries are on top of it.
Once at Coles, I now put the boys in the trolley but I also have to put the stroller in the trolley because well, what else am I going to do with it? This reduces the trolley space considerably. Once again we play the “fetch” game and once again the wonderful strangers are bringing me things “Double trouble, ha ha!”. Once again, we end up with one child in the seat and the other being carried. Except that this time Phoenix decided to send a 500g tub of yoghurt to the floor.
And there were no staff members in sight. Then I saw a couple walking briskly in the opposite direction. A nice old lady said “go ahead, dear, I will stay and look after the trolley and the baby”. So I run after these staff members who turn out to actually be managers and I am yelling “excuse me” like an idiot with a baby in my hands. Anyway, they were very nice and helpful and appreciative as apparently people just have an accident like that and leave it and don’t tell anyone.
Again the check out experience, end up with only the one trolley this time. Manouver to the car one handed etc etc.
I am not going to bore you with the excitement of finally getting home and having to unpack all the stuff but each and every time I say to myself (over a drink or two), never again am I doing THAT!