The Evil Stepmother

Cinderella, Snow White, Hansel and Gretel, Rapunzel, Brier Rose….

Most of us have grown up with fairy tales. And thanks to the “child friendly” versions, they are mostly stories where we have a villain, a hero and a happy ending. The villain is almost always hated by the reader and we hope that the “good” will prevail and that the villain will get what they “deserve”.

I was thinking about this the other day, one thing that came to mind was that the villains are very often the evil step mothers but more importantly, I had a bit of an a-ha! moment. Why can’t the villains be our role models? Without the evil bit of course. Here are some thoughts I pondered and how they can be related to you and I.

My ponderings lead me to thinking that the fairy tale villains, or at least the idea of them, is something we can all look up to and learn from (minus all the pure evil stuff, of course).


Why? Let me tell you…

They are confident; clearly they love themselves to the point of vanity but they do not have any self-image issues, they never doubt the way they look (apart from Snow White’s stepmother, but even then she knew she was beautiful but she just wanted to be the MOST beautiful).

Why can’t we then, the non-evil ones, enjoy self-confidence and self-love, and revel in the unshakable knowledge that we are indeed beautiful and flawless? Feeling these things and behaving in this way, does NOT makes us evil. Or is it, that deep down we feel that it might?


They know EXACTLY what they want and will not stop at anything until they get it. They never doubt that they WILL get it and they never doubt that they deserve to get it.They see what they want and they TAKE it.

Do you know what it is that you want? Not many people can answer this question. Some spend years trying to figure it out. But it could be as simple as that what you want most of all is to know what you want. Now, having said that, what’s stopping us from having absolute certainty that we will indeed GET the very thing that we want? We are stopping us. You are in your way and I am in my way. Because the only obstacle between you and your dream is YOU. (I have said this before, there’s even a meme, lol)

Are we using excuses and procrastinating and feeling that we are not worth it and we don’t deserve it? Probably.

But the fact remains, we are the only ones who can take what we want. No one else will do it for us, it will not magically land in our laps. It takes hard work and dedication and also permission to yourself from yourself that it is okay for you to have your wishes granted and that yes, you do deserve it. Ask for it, work for it and then take it. And always remember to say “thank you”.


They are certainly not concerned with other people’s opinions of them.

As for the being concerned about the opinions of others, well I have written a few blogs now on that subject but to sum it up: just don’t. You are the only you. No one else is or can ever be you. They are who they are. Everyone is entitled to an opinion but it doesn’t mean you have to agree with it. You always have a choice, you were blessed with free will. Use that gift, don’t waste it.


They don’t feel like they owe anyone anything and they certainly do not feel like the world owes them a favour. They know they need to work hard for what they want and they do it without hesitation, without question.

Some of us spend a long time always working hard, doing the right thing, caring for others and we wait and we wait for “our time” for that “something” to happen that will change our lives for the better. We dream of that moment. Sometimes it is all that keeps us going. We think that if we are a good person and do all the right things that it only naturally follows we should be rewarded at some stage, if we are just patient enough.

I used to think like that but now I call bullshit.

I now understand that I am the only one who can ever make a difference in my life, I am the only one who can make that “something” happen and it will never be given to me by an outside source. I am the one who gets to make that CHOICE, the choice to change, the choice to make my life into what I want it to be. Choice/Freewill is the one gift we have been given. There is a reason why it’s that gift and why there’s only the one gift and not more. Because it’s the only gift we will ever NEED. It is the key to everything!


They are highly motivated and driven

And you can be too, once you figure out what it is that you want and how to get it.


They are smart and intelligent

SO are you


Failure is not an option and it’s probably not even a word in their vocabulary

If we all thought we were going to fail, we wouldn’t be bothered starting anything and we would still be stuck in the middle ages with no electricity and we would think that the Earth is flat. Every time you have a perceived failure, it is actually one step closer to your goal. Because that is one option you have now eliminated, one lesson you have learned and something you are not likely to repeat. Say “thank you” for the experience and the lesson and move on. Keep going. Never stop.


I’m not going to do a psycho analysis into their mental or emotional states but yes, they do hurt others without any detectable remorse and that’s a bad bad thing. But everything else? How awesome are all the other traits? And the best part is that you don’t have to hurt others, or be pure evil to have all the other traits


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