Sweet Little Lies
There is just no need for lies. They are a big fat waste of time and as such highly disrespectful. Every lie will be found out sooner or later and the truth will see the light. Meanwhile, people who are being lied to are drawn into the “pretend world” of the person who lied and are wasting their time because as soon as the lie gets discovered that whole time becomes null and void.
Just suck it up and live the truth. Much more simple that way. Might be painful for a wee period of time but at least you go to bed with a clear conscience knowing that you have been honest with yourself and those around you.
I always say to my children: “I don’t CARE what it is as long as you tell the truth. Sure, you may get in trouble for a short period of time but the MOST important thing is to just come out with it and own it. I am not going to love you any less because you have made a mistake but the choice is yours to make whether you own up to it or not.” I also say to them: “May the gods help you if I EVER find out you have lied!”
Now, sure, there are grey areas. Take chocolate for example. I do not like sharing my chocolate. I will protect my secret stash of chocolate with my dying breath. So, when my children ask me if I have any chocolate, I will always say “no”. And sure, they will catch me eating my non existent chocolate and they will say: “Hey! I thought you said you didn’t have any chocolate!” To which my standard answer is: “Sorry, I lied.”
This perhaps may make me sound like a total hypocrite but I chose to make a rule that I can make an exception to any rule. Cause I can.
Another good one is foresight so that you don’t have to lie. Thinking ahead, if you will. My example concerns mainly shoes and clothes. Now you go out and make a “purchase” which you would rather not discuss with your partner. It could be the cost of the item or the fact that you already own fifty four pairs of high heeled shoes and don’t really need another pair. But you HAD to buy them. You know, cause they were pretty. Okay, so the strategy here is place the said item at the back of the wardrobe, bury it so deep in there that even you forget you bought it. That way, one day when you “find” it/them and wear it/them and someone says: “Oh, is that/are those new?” You can HONESTLY reply: “Oh, I have had this/these for ages!!!”
I would also like to discuss the Toothfairy. And while I’m there the Easter Bunny, Santa, the raindeer and the elves, as well as other kinds of fairies and magical creatures. As a parent, I am a great supporter of the children’s imagination. I think that supporting their beliefs in the above creatures encourages their imagination and therefore brain development. I also do not believe that it is “lying”. Why? Lets keep in mind that all the fairy tales and all the stories and novels we read, they all have some element of truth in them. As adults, we don’t actually KNOW for sure that these creatures don’t exist, do we? We just think they don’t. You know, cause we are all “grown up” and really into the whole material world of things and we are just so serious right now cause we have to be responsible and shit. Bull shit. We have just become so swept up in the “adult” world of things we THINK matter that we never make time to just stop and look and listen. Like really look and really listen. Cause we are just so busy.
My daughter believes in the tooth fairy so much that she writes her little notes to go along with her tooth. I think that is fantastic! For all I know, the tooth fairy might think the same thing.
I guess what I am saying is that, just because you can’t see or feel or touch something it doesn’t mean that it doesn’t exist. Sometimes you just have to believe…