Prince Charming

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Excuse me while I roll around on the floor in fits of laughter….

There is no such thing.

Moreover, having a “Prince Charming” in one’s life is bound to get boring at one time or another.

So let’s talk about real people and the real life. And perhaps a realistic prince or princess charming. (If you are a male and reading this – although I have a sneaking suspicion no males read my blog, lol – or a lesbian, please substitute my references to Prince Charming with Princess Charming from now on cause if I keep doing both I will get myself very confused)

Firstly, I believe you can never have a happy relationship with another if you do not have a happy relationship with yourself. This takes priority over EVERYTHING. Get to know yourself, learn about yourself, forgive yourself, learn from yourself, LOVE yourself. When you are at a stage where you are your own very best friend and you don’t actually NEED anyone else, then you are ready to be in a relationship with someone other than yourself.

Many people think that we NEED our partner to: make us happy, give us approval, give us encouragement, pick us up when we are down, support us… Some people think they could not possibly LIVE without their partner, that they would just die if they were ever to break up bla bla bla bla bullshit.

Reverse the situation, would you want to be in a relationship with someone who is so needy and drains you on so many levels they become a leech? Mehtinks not.

Secondly, just because someone shows interest in you, it does not mean you must now have a relationship with that person. You do not OWE anyone anything. You owe yourself EVERYTHING. So if you are in a place of self pity and desperation please do not kiss the first frog that comes along. Climb out of your depths of despair, understand that how you see yourself is how others see you because you show it with the way you speak, the way you hold yourself, the things you say and do and with the dimmed light that comes through your eyes.

When the kissable frog comes along you will know it. There will be no doubts. If there are doubts, it’s simply not your frog to kiss. Move ON. There WILL be others. Do not settle, because you deserve more and the frog in question deserves to be kissed by you and not anyone else.

What makes a frog YOUR Prince Charming?

Most importantly, you must be able to stay true to yourself. You have spent your whole life with you, changing and growing and loving and you must always be you. So, what I am saying is, if you feel that you need to behave a certain way and say certain things which you would not normally do and you change yourself just to please your frog, then that frog is not your Prince Charming.

You need to be supported and respected in who you are and the things you do not questioned and belittled at every turn. This is a shit way to live and you don’t need it.

When you look into your frog’s eyes and see love, respect and admiration there (perhaps your frog is not even aware of it) then you know you have found your Prince Charming.

And the beauty of the journey along the road to recognising your Prince Charming is that once you do find him, you realise that you don’t actually NEED him, you can function perfectly fine without him but how wonderful is it to share mutual love and admiration and growth with someone?

Someone you can share comfortable silences with. Someone who has your back even if their opinion is different to yours. Someone who can be miles away but right next to you. Someone whose eyes you can look into and see strength and love and yourself.

My five year old declared today to be “Kingdom Day”. I am therefore sitting here typing this whilst wearing my tiara as I have been deemed the “Queen”. Daddy, the “King” comes back from his business trip this afternoon and every time he comes home I feel like a teenager going on a first date with butterflies in my tummy and when I see him my knees go weak and I grin from ear to ear (sometimes there’s a bit of drool but that’s cause I’m getting old).

I know in my heart of hearts and in my brain and with everything that I am, that I have found my Prince Charming. But if I didn’t kiss a few feral frogs along the way maybe I would not have been able to recognise that. Maybe I would have.

My Prince Charming has helped and supported me through enormous growth as a person and he was the one who taught me that I didn’t need him but that I chose him.

And every day I am grateful for him and for our little “darlings” (although whoever invented school holidays will pay) and our journey together.

I wish and hope and encourage one and all to keep looking for that right frog. It’s worth it. You deserve it.

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paulineferguson

I love how you say things that we all “know” in a way that makes it make sense. Thank you.

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