Happily Ever After

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One of the greatest gifts we have been given is the freedom of choice.

This applies to love.

In a romantic sense, you meet someone, you fall madly “in love”. That period of time (around three months worth) when you are totally amazed with this other person and they are perfect and they make you feel so elated and blah blah blah… well that’s just hormones. This is how our bodies ensure the survival of our species.

And then the reality hits.

After the “in love” feeling wears off and you are left with this person in front of you and you are able to see them without the rose coloured glasses on, you have a choice to make. Do I chose to stay with this person and love them or is it “catch ya later, thanks for the good times?” And that’s if you are being honest. Some people chose to stay with a person because they are confused on how they really feel or it’s simply just convenient.  Or because they don’t want to go back on their word. You know, cause in that first three months of delirium you said “I love you” so that means you must love them so what kind of person would you be if you were to now say “I don’t love you anymore”. Gee whiz.

Let’s face it, it saves a lot more heartbreak and time if you are just honest at the start and move on. BUT if you chose to stay and love that person, it is hard work and patience but the key to it is that we do it because we WANT to, because we CHOSE to.

And it goes both ways. You can’t MAKE someone love you. No matter what you do (and I have heard of people doing some pretty crazy shit to get the other person’s attention and “love”). You shouldn’t be in a place where you NEED someone to love you; it’s a shit place to be.

Here is a personal example; my hot husband and I. Now, we love each other; because we chose to. We made that choice consciously. The most wonderful thing about it is that we are both in this relationship because we WANT to be here. We are not here because of the kids or because we feel responsible or guilty or anything else but because we chose to love each other and share our lives with one another.  At the same time we are both perfectly aware that we would be just fine on our own, we don’t NEED the other person to fill any of our needs, we are enough as a person in our own right.

The main person you need to choose to love is YOU. Once you love you and are open to let love in, it will come. Because love is all around us, waiting for us to let it in. A lot of the time we are so preoccupied with the tediousness of every day existence that we don’t stop, we don’t notice and that particular opportunity to love or be loved has passed us by. And we will never know. Luckily for us, love is a persistent little bugger and it will keep trying in different ways through different situations and wait for us to be ready. This is applicable in general not just romantically.

To illustrate my point, here is a little thing you may like to try.

Next time you are at the checkout in a supermarket or in a bank or at a service station or any kind of situation where you have another person serving you and that person seems irritable and just not very nice in general; stop for a second and make the choice to love them. Right there and then. Just look at them and feel love. And look at them and ask them how they are, how their day is going, whatever. When they look back at you, they will see your eyes and feel the love and gentleness and genuine concern coming at them. Their demeanor will change and they way they look at you and speak to you will change. For the better, of course.

Such a small thing for you at that time but it may be a huge thing for them.

Such is the power of love.

(Oh and “happily ever after” is only a choice, a choice that only YOU can make)

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paulineferguson

It’s a good thing. I’m going to try sending love to my neighbour and her gazillion kiddies, maybe it’ll reduce her stress levels a bit and she’ll feel better. 🙂

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Amanda

I love this post Ana! I did this once with this young guy in the supermarket chucking my fruit and veges into the grey bags. Instead of asking him to watch what he was doing, I asked him how his day was going and exactly what you have said here happened. He was in excruciating pain because he was just new at the job and had been standing up for 8 hours and hadn’t done that before.

Thank you for speaking about this. xxx

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    Ana Hall

    That’s just the thing isn’t it? We should never assume. And I’ll bet it made all the difference to that boy’s day, feeling like someone cared 🙂 x

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